I feel so disorganized right now. I got a message yesterday from the farm where Sophie's at asking if she's staying into Sept and my first thought was "I'll figure that out when it gets here" then I realized it was Aug 31 and Sept is here and they probably think I am the worst owner ever.
.jpg) |
| In that theme, I didn't even take any pictures of Sophie last weekend, so here's a friendly Bridget instead. |
I could in theory pick Sophie up at any time, and honestly my vote was to do so. G being the voice of reason then pointed out ring base is going in this month and there will be extra people and machinery around needing to get in and out of our place and I'm going to be super busy working on the final push to get everything done. So, the decision is that she stays on her all inclusive vacation possibly until October 1st. That feels like forever away, but I know the reality is I'll be sitting here in 4 weeks wondering where the time went.
.jpg) |
| A fully fenced pony paddock. (The electric wire across the middle isn't staying, B's been in the dirt part at night because I needed to keep her from eating 24/7 while the grass is still so lush) There are two more same sized (30'x70') paddocks to the right of this one, the furthest is getting a run in shed this week so the girls can have their own spaces at night. |
Bridget is currently enjoying a couple of weeks off then she'll be back to some easy hacking for a bit. I'm grateful for what we did get out and do this summer, but it got me so excited for more that now I feel pretty down about the current situation. It's the same kind of feeling I'm struggling with in general right now...things have just felt harder and more complicated than normal this year and I've been stretched in every direction...most of it necessary, but not directions I find overly rewarding.
 |
| Painting things is rewarding tho |
 |
| Rubber mats in the barn rewarding also |
 |
Success! B approves of the newly refreshed interior. B actually loves this barn so much I'm considering putting Sophie in the other paddock with the new run out shed instead (was supposed to be for B and foal originally)
|
In so many ways, much of my hard work of the last year is paying off - I am so close to having both girls at home and having a place to ride on site too! Now is not the time to be discouraged. Still, I'm finding the final push with the delays this summer kind of exhausting - I just want to be in that future place where I'm riding in my ring and taking regular lessons and I can make some pony and riding related goals a priority. Despite making big accomplishments outside of the horses this year, they remain my big focus and I very much feel like time is ticking away and I'm falling ever further behind with them.
 |
| I'm sure they have zero regrets about pasture life, though. |
Anyway enough with the less than helpful mindset. I'm aware I have a lot to be grateful for. I am starting a week's annual leave time tomorrow and have a long list of property improvements to work on. I do love that stuff.
I'm very lucky to have a certain palomino pony coming back home in T minus 30 days and I hope to have a ring constructed for riding her in. That's barely any time at all so I'd better get to work!
.jpg)
.jpg)
Obviously may not be relevant to you at all, so feel free to disregard! But I've found that even 'positive' changes tend to have some residual, hovering pockets of grief I have to dip in and out of as I navigate the in-between of 'a' and 'b'.
ReplyDeleteHope the progress continues tho - B looks super comfy in the results of all your work so far! :)
Great point, and so true! I like to have a plan so although change doesn't scare me per say, I do get rather attached to the path and there is a sense of loss/failure in abandoning it for a new plan, even if it's for the better.
DeleteYou are lucky to have a lovely pony that doesnt mind being alone. Some might feel “stuck” in keeping a second horse just to keep the first one company. You have had lingering doubts about Sophie for a long time.
ReplyDeleteIts ok to say goodbye. Life is short, and you both might be better off in different circumstances.
Best decision I ever made was to sell my mares foal that was not a good fit for me. Too small, too hot. I had other horses I preferred riding. I delayed my decision, but once done, it was a tremendous relief. Of course I was attached, and loved him dearly (I raised him, and taught him, and he was a sweetheart), but I found him the perfect home with trusted friends and I was able to focus my attentions on other aspects of my life.
Thank you for this. I do very much worry B should have a friend, and Sophie does fill that role... but the whole situation is well worth evaluating from a more logical perspective (and despite what science would tell you B does seem happier and thriving on her own - I've had her pastured in a herd and while the other horses seem to like her, I notice she goes out of her way to find her own space to be left alone)
DeleteYou've made so much progress this year but I totally get you. I feel like I'm 6 months behind with wet weather in the spring and waiting for my ring to be built. It can be a little discouraging but reality is no one has a timeline but me. Your barn looks great. And an all weather riding ring. Soon. Two nice ponies. Just hang in there and soon all the process stuff will be done and you will be able to focus on training and riding.
ReplyDeleteSo true! My timeline is definitely my own invention. Thanks for the encouragement! ❤️
DeleteOur family moved from Ontario to PEI in July. Add in a few bumps in the road and I feel like my summer disappeared in a blink of an eye. I haven't had a chance to meet any horsey people here and I feel adrift & unbalanced. So you aren't the only one feeling discombobulated. Your SO was smart on suggesting to board Sophie for another month. I suspect you will feel much more comfortable bringing her home when most of the work on the farm is completed.
ReplyDeleteI'll sleep better for sure knowing there's solid perimeter fencing in place for Ms Houdini! I hope you meet some horsey people there soon, I feel like as soon as I meet even one I'm set, because they'll know all the other horse crazy people in the area 😁I'd absolutely love to make the move out there one day too...it's so beautiful!
DeleteOctober 1st will be here in like three seconds so enjoy B (and low drama) while you got it :) I love how nice everything is looking and I am in the doldrums a bit too. I think that we all suffer from ups and downs. you have done a lot this year and I am proud of you. (And B does look like she thinks that barn is hers only hers!!
ReplyDeleteShe really is quite a fan of that barn, I'm not convinced she'll want to sublet it to Sophie 😁 It's been about one second since I published this post and somehow the calendar says I'm replying to comments a week later, so your 3 second estimate to Oct 1st looks on target!
Delete