I think I had two averagely OK rides after my last post, but Sophie managed to get a puffy leg last Wednesday and so I gave her a bit of a break.
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| She likely kicked at the neighbouring gelding through the metal fence panel again She had opinions about that scraped up leg on farrier day, but bad choices lead to consequences, Sophie ;) |
That one small blip in the plan has lead to some bigger temporary changes. I had that lesson where it kind of went sideways and I had a moment (or ten) where I felt like I just couldn't do it, mainly because I just felt I don't have the time or proper headspace to be there the way she needs at the moment. Getting to the arena is a trailer ride across town and no matter how much I feel like I rush, it takes 2-3 hours out of my day that I often don't feel I have to spare. I went into that clinic feeling overwhelmed, tired, and unprepared. The whole situation sucked, but was a lightbulb moment that I just can't keep doing what I'm doing how I'm doing it....I mean I am not the least emotional person out there, but also I am not the person who has a days long breakdown when my lesson for what's supposed to be my fun hobby doesn't go perfectly, either.
Sophie needing a few days off combined with me having vacation booked from work was a blessing in disguise. Taking riding and work off the list temporarily made such a difference in my outlook and made it so much easier to reevaluate things.
I'm making some short term changes with the horses. Sophie is moving to full board this weekend, and Bridget is moving there too when she gets back (no update yet, ultrasound scheduled for this coming Monday) It's more of a retirement type place with no onsite arena, but there are acres of fields for the girls to vacation in. While they are 'away' I'm going to prioritize getting our property ready for them - I'm so close and it feels very good to make real progress there. Also I really enjoy DIY improvements, so it doesn't feel like work. (And yes, we've hired a contractor for some things to speed up the process, another compromise!)
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| Sneak peak at in progress fencing |
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| My backyard 'workshop', often how I spend my lunch breaks |
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| Building gates for the orchard/garden area last weekend. I don't think I have actually stopped moving in two weeks and am in a perpetual state of soreness....reminds me how ill suited a desk job actually is to my fidgety, busy self. |
I am a little disappointed because I feel a little like I’m admitting partial defeat of my summer riding goals but I'm well and truly burnt out from trying to keep riding regularly given my current work/board arrangement plus all the property improvements I'm trying to finish at our place. Plus, really, what horses wouldn’t be happy with a 10 acre summer field vacation for a month or so?
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| The grass I planted at home for them last fall is growing like crazy, too |
I do still have a busy summer clinic schedule and a horsey camping trip I’ve already booked and paid for, so expect me to be “that” person with the pony who hasn’t been getting as much saddle time as would be ideal. I know it's not a perfect answer, but I think it's a logical one and regular riding is the easiest thing to take off the table right now. The longer term answer is obviously that riding and fun things can have priority as the less fun things (and my mental health) get sorted, but we're not there yet. I'd be lying if I said I have an immediate plan for how I'm feeling right this instant, but it's been a bit freeing to just get to that place where I'm OK with admitting I can't do all the things right now and need a bit of a break from some of it.
Burn out is real. I feel this so much. While I'm still riding, half the time I ride on weekends only. I have so many projects that are just back burnered right now (I keep planning to fence in my wood lot so the horses have another turnout area --first thought was for spring then summer now maybe they'll have a place for next winter if I ever get to clean up? I've been saying this for... years, but I was determined?) and they just keep piling up. For a while I managed to get out and ride during the work week and now it's just not happening. Somehow after 3 months off, Nay is doing ok with a week off between rides so we ride when we can. Sometimes 3 times a week, sometimes 2, sometimes just once. I'm stopped stressing. Expectations are low.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, the point of all this is, let yourself off the hook. The girls will love their time turned out this summer. And stuff will get done when it gets done. Hopefully the hired help will help speed things up so you can enjoy the horses vs renovating.
<3 I think the girls could both do with a nice few weeks turned out with the herd. Logically I think we'll all come away better for it, but I can't help wishing I had more hours in the day to do all the things :).
DeleteSometimes plan B or C is the way to go. You have so much on your plate that no wonder you felt overwhelmed after that lesson! I'm also one of those people that can only have so many balls in the air, so I feel for you. When you have your property done, an arena RIGHT THERE, and a manageable to do list, I bet a lot of your stress level will rachet down. Take care and looking forward to those property improvement posts!
ReplyDeleteIt's really going to be so much easier when I can pop out any time for a quick ride in the ring or around the neighbourhood! It's been 3 years since I moved back here. I appreciate the boarding I've had, but it's been 3 years since I had a setup that made it easy to ride and efficient to get chores done...so you could say I'm getting obsessive about just getting our place ready! lol
DeleteI have always had incredible admiration for people who self-care their horses at home and still ride. I say this because I know with 10,000% certainty that this life is NOT FOR ME. All of my barn sitting gigs proved that it was something I could never make work.
ReplyDeleteWe all make compromises, and knowing when you need a bit of an extra push to make it work long term is important. And not burning yourself out is important too! It will be awesome when your arena is finally finished.
I'm not convinced it's the life for me either, but there is very little boarding choice here so I'm just going to do it :) I'll be very happy to have an arena to ride in.
DeleteI think you are wise. We can't do all the things. 10 acres of field sound great to me. I am sure Bridget will be thrilled. :)
ReplyDeleteWe dropped Sophie off yesterday, and it's safe to say she was happy. Bridget's going to be thrilled, for sure :)
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