On Her Own Time

 Super long term readers will remember the constant struggle with Bridget was her unwillingness to do the thing NOW. Always, no matter what, she needs time to process and think and then put the plan into action. Bridget isn't hasty about anything. It's not ideal when you're needing a sharp transition at C and your pony doesn't connect her brain to her feet without a processing lag, but on the plus side if a scary thing happens she's still pondering it well after everyone else has just run away :)

Ahh, so cute. I actually want 10 Bridgets to just make my life entertaining forever.

I should know this about her and have guessed it would apply to putting her in foal as well. Besides being cute, it's kind of her 'thing'. I really should not be surprised that she didn't take the first time. I also shouldn't be surprised she foiled our plans the second time by holding out days past when she should have been ready, even opting out of reacting to the meds that should have solved that and given us a predicatable 48 hour window to breed her.

I feel like timing Bridget ovulating might be more art than science, comparable to the perfect avocado. Days of "it's going to happen tomorrow", then oops too late. (and just in case you thought you might put another order in, it's 3am Sunday morning now too, ha ha ha)

When I reached out to the vet about whether it's worth trying a third time, part of her response included mentioning how Bridget doesn't necessarily cooperate with plans and likes to do things on her own time and needing to factor that in. Despite being poor and sad from this whole experience, I did have to laugh. At least she's consistent.

I need to have a chat with her...I mean she could have a year + of this potato lifestyle, or she could go back to work as an eventing pony? Maybe I'll threaten her with lesson pony duties *evil laugh*

So, we'll check in two weeks but the odds of her being in foal are very slim. I've gone back and forth over trying one more time and literally can't make my mind up. I'm normally pretty optimistic but I can't shake the feeling this just isn't going to happen and I'm wasting my money. The again, I've been spending every spare moment installing foal safe fencing at our place so maybe I'm not that negative! Plus if there's anything that would make me gamble, it's the prospect of a Bridget 2.0. 

For now we'll wait on Bridget for a couple more weeks and see what happens. Cross your fingers hard for me, I realize the odds are super super tiny but maybe there is a baby in there despite the timing being way off?

In the meantime, I have a lesson with Sophie on Friday, and I haven't ridden in weeks. I'm THAT person. I knew I would likely be very limited in time leading up to this, but didn't want to lose my ongoing lesson spot. I'm going to try my best to just work with whereever we're at and get what I can out of the day...don't expect a glowing lesson review of all the amazing new things we accomplished. Just getting out there and getting it done in spite of the universe seems to be the name of my game this summer.

Speaking of that, the jack failed on my year old trailer when I went to hook it up to ride this weekend. YouTube fix it videos seem to think they fail when they're hooked up to your truck and the jack is accessible, but no...that's not how my luck is. But I still managed to replace it myself so...winning? Sort of?

Property updates coming soon - we've got a lot happening there this month!

And We Wait A Little More

- Bridget's ultrasound results were not of the variety I had hoped for, so we're coordinating a retry. Maybe I'll have different news in a couple of weeks? I'm disappointed of course, but it is what it is. We'll try once more and then whichever way it goes is how we move forward. I'd absolutely love a foal from Bridget and have to give it try, but also I'm feeling surprisingly rational about the whole thing and the realities of the risks and costs.

- Sophie moved to her temporary home yesterday and was very happy with the greenery in her paddock, less so with the geldings over the fence line. I'm a bit apprehensive about reintroducing her to the herd, but trusting the barn owner to know when it's a good time.  She's been pastured with the crew out there before, but she was very young and it's been a few years.

- Rain, rain, and more rain. It's still basically winter rains here and we're setting all the records for cold and rainfall. So our excavation work is postponed another week - there is standing water everywhere and the soil is completely waterlogged. Progress as far as fencing, etc continues but we really need things to dry out!

- I had my first appointment with a sports psychologist and it was amazing. Highly recommend if you in any way struggle with anxiety around riding or shows, or even if you are just feeling the daily struggle of horses being unpredictable creatures that don't follow a plan. Homework = redefining what I think constitutes me being 'good enough' or 'getting better' at something. Hint: Enjoying, learning, and being in the moment while in the saddle are good goals, and much better than something more quantitative like "riding fourth level' or "capably jumping a 4' course". Hint 2: You'll never be worthy in your own mind if you base too much of your worth on wanting achievements that haven't happened yet or focusing on things that happened in the past. You're 'good enough' right now.

- Sorry for the lack of pictures or media today. I've been uninspired, but I have promised myself a photo taking time out later this week - Sophie has finally shed the last of her winter coat and is looking great, plus there's that big beautiful green pasture background to take advantage of :)

'Vacation' Time

I think I had two averagely OK rides after my last post, but Sophie managed to get a puffy leg last Wednesday and so I gave her a bit of a break.

She likely kicked at the neighbouring gelding through the metal fence panel again She had opinions about that scraped up leg on farrier day, but bad choices lead to consequences, Sophie ;)

That one small blip in the plan has lead to some bigger temporary changes. I had that lesson where it kind of went sideways and I had a moment (or ten) where I felt like I just couldn't do it, mainly because I just felt I don't have the time or proper headspace to be there the way she needs at the moment. Getting to the arena is a trailer ride across town and no matter how much I feel like I rush, it takes 2-3 hours out of my day that I often don't feel I have to spare. I went into that clinic feeling overwhelmed, tired, and unprepared. The whole situation sucked, but was a lightbulb moment that I just can't keep doing what I'm doing how I'm doing it....I mean I am not the least emotional person out there, but also I am not the person who has a days long breakdown when my lesson for what's supposed to be my fun hobby doesn't go perfectly, either.

Sophie needing a few days off combined with me having vacation booked from work was a blessing in disguise. Taking riding and work off the list temporarily made such a difference in my outlook and made it so much easier to reevaluate things.

I'm making some short term changes with the horses. Sophie is moving to full board this weekend, and Bridget is moving there too when she gets back (no update yet, ultrasound scheduled for this coming Monday) It's more of a retirement type place with no onsite arena, but there are acres of fields for the girls to vacation in. While they are 'away' I'm going to prioritize getting our property ready for them - I'm so close and it feels very good to make real progress there. Also I really enjoy DIY improvements, so it doesn't feel like work. (And yes, we've hired a contractor for some things to speed up the process, another compromise!)

Sneak peak at in progress fencing

My backyard 'workshop', often how I spend my lunch breaks

Building gates for the orchard/garden area last weekend. I don't think I have actually stopped moving in two weeks and am in a perpetual state of soreness....reminds me how ill suited a desk job actually is to my fidgety, busy self.

I am a little disappointed because I feel a little like I’m admitting partial defeat of my summer riding goals but  I'm well and truly burnt out from trying to keep riding regularly given my current work/board arrangement plus all the property improvements I'm trying to finish at our place. Plus, really, what horses wouldn’t be happy with a 10 acre summer field vacation for a month or so? 

The grass I planted at home for them last fall is growing like crazy, too

I do still have a busy summer clinic schedule and a horsey camping trip  I’ve already booked and paid for, so expect me to be “that” person with the pony who hasn’t been getting as much saddle time as would be ideal. I know it's not a perfect answer, but I think it's a logical one and regular riding is the easiest thing to take off the table right now. The longer term answer is obviously that riding and fun things can have priority as the less fun things (and my mental health) get sorted, but we're not there yet. I'd be lying if I said I have an immediate plan for how I'm feeling right this instant, but it's been a bit freeing to just get to that place where I'm OK with admitting I can't do all the things right now and need a bit of a break from some of it.