It’s ok

After our clinic, I gave Sophie a couple of days off just to let her have a little mental and physical break after what I’m sure was a busier couple of weeks than she’s used to. The grass I planted last fall at my ponies soon to be home is coming in like crazy, so I’ve been walking them over there for a leg stretch and hand grazing them in the evenings. Spoiled girls! It’s still very, very wet so it’s unlikely the machines will be back to do fencing and water lines in the next couple of weeks. On the flip side knowing there is going to be large machinery coming back and digging holes anyway,  I’m thinking of putting up temporary fencing and letting the girls trash the field just a little. I’ll seed and baby it again after the work is complete.

You all probably “know” me well enough by now to guess that of course I’ve been dwelling on my not so great ride at the clinic. Despite there being so many possible logical reasons it wasn’t the greatest day, of course my emotions win and me being terrible and never getting a handle on the anxiety when things aren’t right, therefore probably needing to just give up riding, tops the list as I fall asleep at night.

Redemption opportunities finally came Tuesday night. We had a break in the weather, the sun came out, the wind died down and it even felt a little warm. For once I was pretty up to date on work and didn’t feel guilty leaving a little early for a ride.

I was a little nervous to ride (what if it’s the same as Saturday? What if Sophie is a pro ride now? What if she’s realized I’m just not very good compared to trainer and is fed up with me?) Of course those are all dumb things to waste energy fussing over, but since when does my brain only listen to logic?  So, the goal was to just have a fun, minimal stress outing - as much for my own sake as for Sophie’s.

Not to worry, as soon as S casually hopped off the trailer, I knew I had my old pony back.  I had a super ride where she felt exactly as she always has, just a little better.

Me saying the canter feels way more bouncy and adjustable, media shows my standards are not high

 Totally rideable, “with me” as much as I’d expect from a younger horse, and generally agreeable and happy to be there. Lots to work on, to be sure, but with the communication lines open again the work feels fun rather than intimidating. 

 

I don’t know what kind of strange things were going on for that clinic (although I’m 100% sure my nerves weren’t helping). I’m just grateful for the ride I had last night.